How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
