Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
