just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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