I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
4 words: hood of his car
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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