Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
