i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
