is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was born a porn star she said
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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