I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
