My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
