I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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