that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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