Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
ok first of all what the fuck
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
