he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
