Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
