Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
