i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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