If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
