just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
