Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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