I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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