so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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