I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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