Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
