Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
