on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize