Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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