based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
