yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
