just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
