He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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