Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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