the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
