she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
