Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
