Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
