I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
