cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
