so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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