You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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