absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Buhtt sex?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
