Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
