How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
