Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
