Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
