Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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