the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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