I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
