If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am spending my child support on dildos
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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