Can Purell be used as lube?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
