South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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