Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
