And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
