In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
