I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
