i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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