i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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