i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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