I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
