i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
