Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
