Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just google imaged poop.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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