But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
