she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
