would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
