So drunk, too bad you don't want this
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
