ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
