I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
