She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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