Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
