can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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