it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
