they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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