ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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