We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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