I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
